man and woman jokes Posts

This Joke Starts With a Man and a Woman Fast Asleep...

A man and a woman were fast asleep in bed. Suddenly, at 4 o'clock in the morning, a resounding noise came from outside. The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man: "Oh No! That must be my husband!" The man quickly got out of bed, panicked and naked.

This Joke Starts with a Man Searching For the Perfect Woman

Adam, a very good looking successful man decided that it was his birthright to marry only a perfect and equally beautiful woman so that they would produce equally beautiful offspring.

Joke: The Woman of Choice

When I was 28, I found an exciting woman, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

Joke: The Mystery Woman at the Bar

The man was determined, this cutie was worth giving up the game. They had an instant connection, but things never got past the formalities! At the end of the night, he finally caved. "Why won't you come home with me?" he whined to her.

Joke: The Miracle Man

They bring the first suspect in, and instantly the man says, “this person has committed murder. He murdered a pizza man delivering to his house.” Speechless, the police start to think this man is the real deal. “He has to be telling the truth,” they believe.

This Joke Begins With a Woman and 3 Wishes...

Intrigued by its possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck. The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.” The woman, astounded, thinks for a moment and says “age has taken its toll on me.

Joke: Every Woman's Wish...

Joke: Every Woman's Wish... joke Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince...

Joke: A Woman of Good Reason

Joke: A Woman of Good Sense funny, joke, merchant, joke about women A farmer took his truck in for repairs. The local mechanic's couldn't do it while he waited: so, as he didn't live far, he said he would just walk home.

Joke: A Woman's Clever Answer

Answered the surprised woman. "Couldn't he see that?" She thought... "I'm afraid this is a no fishing area." The officer notified her. "I'm sorry officer but I'm not fishing, I'm clearly reading." "Yes but you can start at any second, you have all the right equipment. 

This Joke Starts With a Woman At the Pearly Gates

A woman found herself standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted her and said, "These are the Gates to Heaven, my dear. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do. "Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?"

Great Joke: The Teddy Bear Mystery

A bachelor for many years, a man decides to get out there more and meet some new women. He didn't have much experience, so he struck out many times. Eventually, one day, he meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

Hilarious Joke: A Woman's Smart Answer

Answered the surprised woman. "Couldn't he see that?" She thought... "I'm afraid this is a no fishing area." The officer notified her. "I'm sorry officer but I'm not fishing, I'm clearly reading." "Yes but you can start at any second, you have all the right equipment. 

This Joke Starts With a Pious Woman Going to Confession

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times."

This Joke Starts With a Woman Being Offered Some Wine

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant, and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone.

This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed

A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic, but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt. "Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine.

This Joke Starts With a Woman Joining a Country Club

A woman joins a country club and one day hears the guys talking about their golf round. She says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 am."

Joke: A Woman Sits at a Fine Restaurant...

x Joke: A Woman Sits at a Fine Restaurant... joke A pretty young lady is sitting at a restaurant table waiting for her date to arrive. She soon finds out that having a big lunch that day wasn't a good idea...

Joke: The Old Man, the Young Man and the Potato

A young man moves to the beach area and is trying to meet women, but isn't having much luck. One day, the young guy is walking down the beach, and he passes an old guy, who is completely surrounded by young beautiful women in bikinis vying for his attention.

This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late

A married man decided to work late to be with his young secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse. After work, he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had sex for two hours.

Joke: The Angry Old Woman and Her Bible

This Joke Starts With a Woman Being Burgled joke An old woman is accosted by a burglar, but she soon has an appropriate response for him. It seems to work...

Joke: That Poor, Poor Man...

Content Joke: That Poor, Poor Man... joke A man is out on a golf course, when he hears someone shout "FORE!"

This Joke Starts With a Woman Taking Her Lover Home

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work... Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

This Joke Starts With a Woman Visiting the Fortune Teller

During a recent outing in New Orleans, a woman snuck off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow.