Sloth Jokes

I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
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