Seal

If you don’t properly seal the lids on your spice rack...
You’re going to have a bad Thyme.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
They said I was an "old fart"
But I hardly think that's true
My boobs were done in '75
But my teeth and knees are new.

And since my eyes were lasered
I have 20/20 sight
Though I like to sit on 50k
And hate to drive at night.

All in all I object to "old"
But "fart" is another matter
For I think the valves that seal the gas
Now leak as I've got fatter.

To add to the indignity
And make me feel antique
Sometimes when I sneeze or cough
I spring a little leak.

So if you're feeling young and smug
With a body like brand new
Just remember in 30 years
This figure may be you!

(By Pamela J. Langdon)
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.