Seal

If you don’t properly seal the lids on your spice rack...
You’re going to have a bad Thyme.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
They said I was an "old fart"
But I hardly think that's true
My boobs were done in '75
But my teeth and knees are new.

And since my eyes were lasered
I have 20/20 sight
Though I like to sit on 50k
And hate to drive at night.

All in all I object to "old"
But "fart" is another matter
For I think the valves that seal the gas
Now leak as I've got fatter.

To add to the indignity
And make me feel antique
Sometimes when I sneeze or cough
I spring a little leak.

So if you're feeling young and smug
With a body like brand new
Just remember in 30 years
This figure may be you!

(By Pamela J. Langdon)