A 70-year-old man goes to a hotel. He sits at the bar alone, when a gorgeous woman approaches him, whispers she's a prostitute and would he like a good time?
The old man, a widower for many years, agrees and they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed.
The old man performs like a teenager, the woman is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she'll give him one for free.
He says "Yeah, I can, but I need to take a 20-minute nap, and while I'm asleep, I need you to hold my old pecker." She agrees, he wakes up 20 minutes later and goes at it again, just as vigorously as before.
The girl is amazed at the old man's stamina, and repeats her freebie offer, the old man tells her that once again, he'll need a 20-minute nap and she'll have to hold his dick while he's asleep.
She does as he asks, and he wakes up 20 minutes later and he goes at it again, with even more enthusiasm than previously.
The hooker catches her breath, and needing to satisfy her curiosity, asks the old man "I can understand why you need the nap, but why do you need me to hold your 'Johnson' while you're sleeping?"
The old man replies "Oh, that's just so you don't steal my wallet."
A man has to drive for a few days to get to his new house.
After a long and tiring drive throughout the night, the driver decides to pull over on the side of the road to take a nap.
A man knocks on the car's window and this wakes the driver from his sleep. The man asks the driver what time it is. The driver looks at his watch and replies, "It's 8 AM" and goes back to sleep.
After a while, another man knocks on the car's window and wakes the driver from his sleep. This man also asks the driver what time it is. The driver replies "It's 8:05 AM" and goes back to sleep.
Sure enough, after a while, again, another man knocks on the car's window and asks the same question. The driver, now annoyed, replies, "It's 8:07 AM". He picks up a piece of paper and writes in bold letters "I don't know what time it is!", sticks it on the car's window and goes back to sleep.
The driver is again woken from his sleep by a knock on his window. The man knocking on the window says, "It's 8:10 AM, you're welcome!"