Masturbating

Dad: "Hey son, if you keep masturbating you're going to go blind."
Son: "Dad I'm over here."
I got caught masturbating with a pickle.
I was Gherkin off.
I was caught masturbating in the library over the small print of laws and local regulations....
.....I got off on a technicality
I nearly got sacked when I was caught masturbating on my first day starting a job as a roofer.
Luckily, the boss said I could wipe the slate clean.
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