Crab

What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?