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Corona Virus Jokes
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Toucan Puns
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Dolphin Puns
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
One Liners and Short Jokes
I've been searching for three years for my mother-in-law's killer... but apparently no one will do it.
Train Puns
I've always wanted to become a podiatrist, but was made to train as a paediatrician first.
Baby steps.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
Shark Puns
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Clever Jokes
I was gonna tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Mango Puns
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
Dark Short Jokes
I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading.
The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics.
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