Birthday cake

A man gets up and heads off to work despondent that not one member of his family has wished him Happy Birthday. What an ungrateful lot he thinks.

When he gets to work his attractive secretary asks him what’s wrong and he explains.

“Why don’t I take you out to lunch to cheer you up,” she says.

After a lovely lunch and a couple of glasses of champagne, she says do you mind if we drop into my apartment on the way home.

Interested, he replies,” Sure!”

At her apartment she smiles, fixes him a drink, and then says, “I just have to slip into the bedroom for a minute.”

In a moment she’s back with a birthday cake, his family and all his friends.

And there’s him lying naked on the couch.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?
I Scream Cake.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
What happened when Jessica Simpson tried to make a birthday cake? The candles melted in the oven!
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?
He destroyed it while trying to blow out the candles.