What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
"And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it."
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend but he kept asking her for another shot.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
I wish you were a fish in my dish.
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally
Do you squat here often?
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
There was an Old Person of Dean,
Who dined on one pea and one bean;
For he said,
"More than that would make me too fat,"
That cautious Old Person of Dean.
What superlative did Robert E. Lee win in high school?
Most likely to secede!
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Have you ever been fishing in Lake Michigan? 'Cause we should hook up sometime.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
That's a nice dress — where's the rest of it?
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Never marry an archaeologist!
They're always digging up the past.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”
- Jim Bishop.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What is Forest Gump’s password? 1Forest1.
What do time and space have in common with family?
It's all relative.
Hey there cyclist, I wheelie like you!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
"Joker Grandpa"
Always finds a way, to make fun of my folks,
He is hilarious, with plenty of jokes.
A true expert, on many pranks,
For making us laugh; a little thanks.
At the dinner table, he’s rarely serious,
His tricks are cool and quite mysterious.
I’m not saying that he knows magic,
Some of his stunts are lame and tragic.
Grandpa knows how to pull your strings,
A cheerful guy, that constantly sings.
Never know, what he’ll come up with next,
Our joker grandpa, fun and perplex.
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
Go to BabaMail
