No-bunny is as hare-larious as you.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
Why is Facebook like jail? You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you really don't know.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
He planted a light bulb and thought he'd get a power plant.
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
Mrs. Ippi.
You stole my heart, so can I steal your last name?
Will you Scarlett me take you out this weekend?
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
I have only two weaknesses resisting chocolate and resisting you.
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
Are you epinephrine? ‘Cause baby, you make my heart race….
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
I'll be your farm boy if you'll be my Princess Bride.
Silly sheep weep and sleep.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.”—John Peer
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What type of underwear does a yard wear?
Lawngerie.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
How do two programmers make money?
One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
You're hot enough for both of us during winter.
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise!
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
“Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.“
Bill Murray
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." - Henny Youngman
Go to BabaMail
