Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
I ain't greedy baby, all I want is all you got.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.” —Erma Bombeck
Crossbows are great, but they have their drawbacks.
I wish you were a fish in my dish.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
I really wish my five-year-old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a treehouse in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need it…
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
Get in the swim this summer.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
It's ice to meet you.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Girl, you give me the butterflies.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
Call me miles because I want you to complete me every round.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
Hey girl…
Can I call-cu-later?
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“I’ve always loved yoga because you get to connect to a deep religious truth while stretching your legs.” — Katya Zamolodchikova
“I only go to yoga to drink wine, so I’m good. I just throw the calories right back in.” – Kaley Cuoco
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
Noticed the ladies' restroom door was missing the 'W'.
Told my daughter that sign was a bad omen
I don’t know your name, but I’m sure it’s as beautiful as you are.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
These decorations are tree-mendous.
"Do you have a cell phone I could use?"
"Why?"
"Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing."
- Couples Retreat (2009)
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
I didn't think I was a snowman, but you just made my heart melt
“I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.”
– Will Rogers
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
Where were you on the night of September to March?
Go to BabaMail
