Hey is your name Cameron? Cuz I’d love a Camera-n to capture that gorgeous face of yours.
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
Send toast to ten tense stout saints’ ten tall tents.
Once I tried to paint the sky but I blue it.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
Our love, it has grown
Similar to your age
We have come so far
And have been through ups
And through downs.
Hopefully you can take
One more year of me being a clown.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
I sulfur when you argon.
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
The glass eyeball manufacturer is having a promotion
An eye for an eye.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark, you still seem to shine.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Please Mr.Postman deliver to my heart.
You’re the pumpkin pie of my eye.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Make your own decisions this summer, don’t give in to pier pressure.
There are 2 unwritten rules for a successful marriage.
1: . 2: .
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What kind of tea you drink with the Queen?
Royal tea.
Who’s ready to party their shamrocks off?
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
I was going to smoke a turkey this Thanksgiving.
But they banned flavored vapes.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
What's your name? Because I'll be screaming it all night long.
This morning my son said to me, "Can I have a book mark?"
I burst into tears. Ten years old and he still doesn't know my name is Steve.
Through three cheese trees, three free fleas flew. While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. Freezy trees made these trees’ cheese freeze. That’s what made these three free fleas sneeze.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Your bible would look great on my nightstand.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
Even if I was T-Rex, I would find a way to hug you.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
Your Ph factor must be 14 because you’re the most basic need in my life right now.
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