How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
Man: "I’ve had really bad gas lately." Doctor: D"on’t worry, it will pass."
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
What happens when you die after Thanksgiving?
You go to Gravy Jones' Locker
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
Why did the cake grow a daisy?
It was made with flower.
What do you call a tree without teeth?
A gumtree.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
“My nickname is ‘Mom’, but my full name is ‘Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom’.”
Unknown
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird!
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
Hey, I would like to introduce my Crouching Tiger to your Hidden Dragon.
Because of my rights related to eminent domain, you have to compensate me for stealing my heart.
Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says
"No swimming without supervision."
There are so many jokes about a certain composer…
I could make you a Liszt.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
Would you mind loaning me a quarter? I want to call my mother and tell her I just met the woman of my dreams.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Hey baby, can I get your phone number? Oops, too late.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
I use homemade pumpkin spice. Would you like to try some?
Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium --- Batman!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”
– Carl Reiner
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
Do you beer-lieve in magic?
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
You’re prettier than a summer day in Lunenburg.
The coffee shop owner was afraid. He wanted to know if the shop had ground to operate in the black.
What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?
Hoppy Birthday.
Go to BabaMail
