A skeleton walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “What’ll you have?”
The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.”
I ate the exam paper
Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Hey girl! Let me orbit around you.
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
I’m elf-taught.
"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
I rang the doctor on our way to the hospital, and said, "Quick! my pregnant wife is going into labor, what should I do?"
He said, "Is this her first child?"
I said, "Of course not, this is her husband!"
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
"Have a hoppy Easter."
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
This autumn, the garden told the mower to leaf him alone in peace.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
There was a Young Lady whose chin,
Resembled the point of a pin.
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
Are you undressing me with your eyes?!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
"A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of."
- T.H. Everett
My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court…
The game would be cancelled.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
You must be a fourth or a fifth, because you're just perfect!
There was an Old Man of Columbia,
Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
But they brought it quite hot,
In a small copper pot,
Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my Trail Mix.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Hey there cyclist, I'll be your mechanic if you'll be my ride.
If you were born in France. Raised in England moved to Canada and died in the USA what are you...?
Dead.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
"Love is a two-way street constantly under construction."
- Carroll Bryant.
Go to BabaMail
