What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
The Bible says to bring all our requests to God. I've prayed - and here you are.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
Sorry to interrupt with a bad pick up line, but if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.
I like you a latte.
What do you call a food waste disposter installed in the sink?
In-sink-erator
"So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea." - King Jaffe Joffer, 'Coming to America'
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
Where's popcorn?
Six slimy snails sailed silently.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
I told my boyfriend we could watch a dirty movie for his birthday and do what we saw in the video.
He was super excited... until I screwed the pizza guy.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
The weather is almost as beautiful as you, m'lady.
"Just looking on the sunny side."
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
“Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.” — Marilyn Monroe
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
Hey Erin, ever heard that sharin’ is carin’? Care to share a meal together sometime?
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
You've got great posture. I'd love to see you flow sometime.
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
but I don't sink sew.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
I found a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too.
Go to BabaMail
