There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
I love my bed, but I'd rather be in yours.
My bowing arm is pretty sore… Because you just made my tremolo.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
My golf number may not be that good but my phone number sure is!
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. -- G. K. Chesterton
All doggies go to heaven (or so I’ve been told).
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight?
Why, because there’s not a single cat in sight! (Larry Huggins)
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting...
a Flying Saucer.
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Isabell.
Isabell who?
Is a bell working?
“Yoga. Because punching people is frowned upon.” — Anonymous
Wait a minute something’s wrong,
Something is missing in your name!
Oh, I know exactly what it is,
Our last name is not yet the same!
A cheese factory exploded in France...
da brie is everywhere.
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Why, because you can see yourself in my pants?
No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Go to BabaMail
