An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
How was Heaven when you left it?
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
What's your hurry, baby? I Just want to take things Oslo.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
I know that 70% of the human body is composed of H2O, but the tall drink of water I'm looking at is probably 97%.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Can I also deposit my number into your phone?
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
Whats the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moonday.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
At first I thought my therapy for Stockholm syndrome was bad for me.
But now I kind of like it.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
My landlord asked me out on a date.
He said I should be out of the house by the 17th.
“God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.”
— Unknown
I know your name is Savan-nah, but if I asked you out to drinks, could that be a Savan-yeah?
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
Are you at the Chanel store? Because you are way too fancy for me.
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”
- Nora Ephron.
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
You must be Saturn Because I feel attracted to you even when I’m a million miles away!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Why couldn't the cowboy get down from his horse?
Because you can only get down from a goose.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
What are the 3 rules of Golf? If the ball goes right it's a slice, if the ball goes left it's a hook, and it the ball goes straight it's a miracle.
Roses are red, and violets are blue,
Your spaghetti is overcooked, it sticks like glue.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Roses are red,
Pizza sauce is too,
I ordered a large one,
I’m not sharing with you.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
My Creeper gets excited when it sees how hot you look.(Minecraft)
Are you from the U.K.? Because I want U, K?
My father hates Thanksgiving.
It's all about the stuffing.
He says it smells like day-old socks.
So on his plate goes nothing.
He grits his teeth and goes to bed.
It gives my mother grief.
I think next year, this holiday,
instead we'll eat roast beef!
- Denise Rodgers
Go to BabaMail
