What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?

The Mazda-lorian

Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
(Lewis Carroll)

Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.

What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!

Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.

Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.

What do you call it when worms eat all of the plants and take over the world?
Global Worming.

How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking

What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.

Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.

Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!

My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Oscar Wilde

What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.

Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.

My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.

What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!

What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.

Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.

There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.

Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was on a roll.

Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.

When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
---
What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.

“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman

What do you call a 5 foot hobo?
Whatever his name is.

What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.

Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me!

“Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”
– Doris M. Smith

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

I’m in such a Henri to get to France!

How many grammar cops does it take to change a light bulb?
Too.

The nurse called me and said, “Under ‘medical history’, we were hoping for something specific to you.”
You wrote down “Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928.”

Fall is coll-arding; it’s time to leave.

Are you a lateral pterygoid because you make my jaw drop.

There’s a big difference between yoga and pie-lattes.

"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous

My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!

A man gets up and heads off to work despondent that not one member of his family has wished him Happy Birthday. What an ungrateful lot he thinks.

When he gets to work his attractive secretary asks him what’s wrong and he explains.
“Why don’t I take you out to lunch to cheer you up,” she says.

After a lovely lunch and a couple of glasses of champagne, she says do you mind if we drop into my apartment on the way home.

Interested, he replies, ”Sure!”

At her apartment she smiles, fixes him a drink, and then says, “I just have to slip into the bedroom for a minute.”
In a moment she’s back with a birthday cake, his family and all his friends.

And there’s him lying naked on the couch.

"ah..." he says. "Surprise?"

I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!

Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?

Don’t go bacon my heart.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.

When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.

I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.

Today, I donated my phone, watch, and $500 to a homeless man. Words cannot describe how happy I felt
When he put his gun back in his pocket

What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.