Would you like to upsize your meal and get my number for free today?
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
I can score from multiple positions.
Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time with each other.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Looks like I’ve finally found my one and Zoe
Norway are you leaving without giving me your number!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
What do ghost cowboys wear?
Boooots.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
You shouldn't wear make up, baby.
It's messing with perfection.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
Do you have my other lung? Because I’ve been LUNG-ing for you.
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.”
– Oscar Wilde
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
Will Rogers
Why do Norwegians build their own tables?
No Ikea!
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
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