Hey, I think I could rock your world if you Dave me a chance…
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
You look a lot like my next victim.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
“You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend but it sure helps!”
— Unknown
If you were coffee grounds, you’d be espresso ’cause you’re so fine.
Wanted to use a cheesy pickup line but toBrianna-st with you, I think puns are sort of ovedone
While the blues musician performed his most famous song, balloons of every color were released in the arena. Guess we may get to call it the 'House of Hues'.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Mom, you’re so awesome,
I’d never want to trade,
You’re the best mother there ever was,
And I’m the best child ever made!
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale." — Hussein Nishah
This vacation has been sand-sational!
There once was a colour named orange,
...Damnit.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.”
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
How did they determine that the shark attack victim had dandruff?
Because all that washed up on the beach was his head and shoulders.
“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
- David Frost.
"Aries people pick up steam while everyone else is running out of gas."
— Joanna Martine Woolfolk
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
I don't think you can diagnose me because there's no treatment for being madly in love.
Buckle up! It is time for re-entry.
"You crack me up."
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
How many zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to change it, and one not to change it.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Long time no sea.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Wow, Charlotte, your name should definitely be Char-hot.
Are you a bookmark? Because I keep rereading the pages you are on!
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank...
Was a monster!
Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
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