What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
I know why Solomon had 600 wives, because he never found you.
I've been called a dirty player but lets just see how dirty we can get tonight.
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
"Don’t worry about what other people think. They don’t do it very often."
Anonymous
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Why is "dark" spelled with a K?
Because you can't C in the dark.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
My space ship is ready. Wanna ride?
An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
I really caribou-t you.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise!
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
This foundation is rock salad.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
If I were Columbus, I would sail day and night to reach the depths of your heart.
Is this the transfiguration?
Because you are glowing.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Thank brew very much.
When his driving had gotten bizarre
Grandpa’s kids tossed his keys very far
So he hitched into town
Laid some good money down
And then simply brought home a new car.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Lettuce go on a long drive.
Date me and all of your problems will be polygone.
Roses are red and so is the state, let us be comrades because I think you are great
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
Excuse me, there has been a heartbreak incident and I need your number to solve it.
In exactly 3030 years, there's a chance things could be really good, and theres a chance things could be really bad.
I guess it will be 5050.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
I hate being bipolar...
It's great!
Why did the run-on sentence think it was pregnant? Its period was late.
Go to BabaMail
