Due to the expansive nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner. Move over, anti-jokes. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you might just be a genius!
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What do you call a three-footed aardvark? a yardvark!
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Why was the artist in an argument? She wanted to have the final clay.
Are you an audiobook? Because I want to listen to you forever.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why did the optimistic electrician lose his job?
He kept on turning negatives into positives.
Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
“The thing about quotes from the Internet is that it is difficult to define their authenticity.”
-Abraham Lincoln, 1973
They say a Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you really mean your mother.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
There once was a Halloween party
All of the costumes there were naughty
I tried to be cute
Wearing my birthday suit
And won the prize for costume most gaudy.
The highlight of the year for dear old Dad
Was Halloween when treats were to be had
His modus operandi
Son you collect the candy
Snickers for me - licorice for you lad.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
With long legs like yours, you don't need high heels.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Like America to Hawaii in 1898, you’ve annexed my heart.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I love you berry much.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
"Have you heard of Murphy's law?"
"Yeah."
"What is it?"
"If something can go wrong, it will go wrong."
"Right. Have you heard of Cole's Law?"
"No, what is it?"
"Thinly sliced cabbage."
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
My girlfriend was arrested for assault using an iron skillet
We'll see how this pans out but I think she's fried.
I’ll bring you roses to our first date so that they can see how beautiful you are.
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
Go to BabaMail
