I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Nice pumpkins!
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I am a mean green machine.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.