Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
I am a mean green machine.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Nice pumpkins!
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
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