Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
I am a mean green machine.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
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