My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
I am a mean green machine.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I wanna bob for your apples.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
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