|
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you're having. It only costs $20.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $20.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
**************************************
You have migrains. You need to take better care of yourself. Get a daily rest, drink a lot and avoid bright lights, stress and strain. See me again in 2 weeks.
**************************************
During the next 2 weeks, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he even added some oil from his car.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $20.00, again stating he had a bad headache. He awaited curiously to see what the computer will say about the odd mix. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
![]()
**************************************
Your tap water has too much waste in it.
Your dog has ringworms.
Your teenage daughter is pregnant.
Your wife has had 5 different lovers in the past six months.
Also, your car needs a new radiator.
And you wonder why you have a headache?
**************************************
Images courtest of: Salvatore Vuono, stockimages / freedigitalphotos.net
|
This Joke Starts With a Guy Laying Half Dead In a Ward
A patient is seriously ill in a hospital bed when it becomes apparent that his meds haven't been administered properly. Things go further downhill...
Doctor, Help Me - Hilarious Doctor Shorts!
10 hilarious 'doctor, doctor' jokes that will guarantee a lifting of the mood!
Joke: Feeling Like a Million Bucks!
The doctor can't dampen the spirits of this happy individual!
One-Panel Comics with Funny Charm!
Dial down the stress as we approach our much-deserved weekend with some humor.
Funny: This Doctor Wishes He Had Given Some Other Advice
This doctor gives some friendly advice to a patient of his...six weeks later he regrets it!
This Joke Starts With a Doctor and His Wife Arguing
A doctor and his wife are having a massive argument over breakfast, but he soon has to head out for work. He never expects what happens next...
Need a Giggle? These 18 Cartoons Have You Covered!
Get ready for some hearty laughs with these hilarious comics by legendary cartoonist Mark Parisi.
26 Pictures that Prove We Will Never Truly Understand Cats
Cats seem to be cool and on top of everything most of the time, but they can get extremely goofy, here's proof
3:13
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
6:15
No One Has Made Me Giggle as Much as Robin Williams!
I adored Robin Williams' comedy. This cheeky bit is probably my favorite.
You Can't Help But Laugh at These Mistakes!
To our joy and their misfortune, the fails of these 18 poor souls ended up on the internet, and we must say, it just doesn’t get funnier than these pictures!
4:10
This Funny Sketch is the Perfect Example of British Humor
Enjoy this hilarious clip from the classic British show 'Two Ronnies’.
HILARIOUS: 20 Times Technology Gave Up Mid-Task
These hilarious tech fails remind us that even machines have off days.
When Simple Jobs Went Hilariously Sideways
These construction mistakes, design fails, and signs are so funny that we can't stop laughing!
22 One-Panel Comics That Sum Up Our Feline Friends
Get ready for a hearty dose of feline humor in these hilarious one-panel comics by artist Scott Metzger.
Here's Why Men Don't Live as Long as Women...
If you were wondering why women tend to live a bit longer than men, then perhaps this collection of photos will make you understand a little better.
5:36
Here Are 40 Construction Workers Who Came to Work Drunk
These roads were either constructed by the best abstract artists or some one with a severe hangover. Either way, absolutely hilarious.
Lost in Translation: 18 Funny Japanese Signs
Here are some of the funniest and most confusing signs spotted across Japan that left travelers scratching their heads.
1:20
Hilarious: Mrs. Brown’s Not-So-Holy Dance!
After being hypnotized the night before, Mrs Brown is unaware that she is still under the spell. The vicar is coming round for tea. What could go wrong?
14 “Genius” DIY Fixes That Get the Job Done—Almost!
Some people come up with the most creative solutions for their everyday problems.
2:09
Hilarious! Mrs Brown Can't Help But Make a Prank Call
Mrs Brown is in the mood for making a prank call.
Hilarious Tweets: Some of the Funniest Tweets of the Decade!
Twitter can truly hilarious to use thanks to the contribution of some of its more prominent users. Here are 18 hilarious Tweets with unexpected ends.
10:55
The Funniest Animals of 2024 are Here!
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the best animal humor of the year!
These Signs Didn't Mean to Be This Funny.. Right?
Need a laugh? Check out these hilariously weird signs that make no sense.
Hilarious: These Inventions are Proof We’ve Given Up Trying
These products are taking our laziness game to astronomical levels.
Would You Dare to Wear Something Like This on Halloween?
It's that time of year again when everyone is looking to come up with the creepiest costume of all. Here are 15 of the best Halloween costumes that daring couples have pulled off.
These Bedtime Quotes are Hilarious
Hate getting out of bed in the morning? Then you will surely be able to relate to these hilarious sleep quotes.
15:36
FUNNY: Grandparents Being Hilarious Without Even Trying
These priceless grandparent moments will make your day.
12 Funny Moments of People Taking Distancing a Bit Too Far
Some people take precautionary steps against coronavirus a tad too far, and in the most creative ways too. If there’s no escaping it, we may as well find the funny side!
9:18
Comedy Classics: Laughter & Chaos in the Dentist’s Office
This is perhaps the most hilarious sketch from the The Carol Burnett Show.
Tiny Comedians: The Hilarious Things Kids Say!
Much to the confusion and surprise of their parents, kids can sometimes blurt out the darndest things! Here are 15 of the most hilarious things kids uttered.
3:46
Hilarious stand-up: Teenagers, God’s Payback
A hilarious stand up by comedian veteran Jeff Allen, all about teens and why they are God's revenge.
Well You Don't See Designs Like THESE Every Day...
These 13 designs are so bizarre you just have to laugh.
Witty Restaurant Signs That Serve More Than Just Food!
El Arroyo is back with a new set of hilariously funny signs!
Hilarious Signs We Just Can't Understand
If you thought that the previous “bad English” sign fails we posted were funny, wait until you see these 20 hilarious signs!
8:40
Jerry Lewis at His Funniest: Best Comedy Scenes
Enjoy some of the best comedy scenes of Jerry Lewis.
Who Knew Signs Could Be This Hilarious?
These signs are more hilarious than they are meant to be.
FUNNY: When Construction Plans Go Completely Off Track
Here are some of the funniest and most outrageous building blunders!
The Most Hilarious Car Bumper Stickers Ever...
Here are some of the most hilarious car bumper stickers ever.
English is a Language Written By Comedians...
If you're a sucker for a good, honest, rib-tickling pun, we've got more than 20 of them here for you to giggle away at!
Hilarious Bumper Wisdom Seen on the Road
14 funny and clever bumper stickers that will brighten up your day.
1:45
Just For Laughs: The Lake That Makes You Young Again!
This Just For Laughs prank brings that fantasy to life with perfect comedic timing.
8:03
This Has Got to be the World's Funniest Orchestra!
This orchestra not only provides you with great music, but great laughs as well.
10:32
COMEDY CLASSICS: Mr. Bean Goes Ice Skating
Watch this hilarious clip of Mr. Bean having a gala time at the ice skating rink.
Want a Laugh? Try These 14 Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
Humor and Irony Clash in These Funny Photos
The pictures you're about to see are so permeated with irony that they are scarcely believable. Here are 29 of the most ironic pictures you'll ever see.
To enable your Ad-Free Subscription, please fill the fields below
Your subscription was successful, now you can enjoy an ad-free experience!! Note: To make sure you get no ads, please make sure to log in to your account. If you are logged in already, then refresh the page. The subscription can be cancelled at any time.

