What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
If you ever have to defuse a bomb, never cut...
The Blew wire.
Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops.
Today he died of his gunshot wounds.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.