I like to tell this one joke about homemade bombs
But it always blows up in my face.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!