My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
If you ever have to defuse a bomb, never cut...
The Blew wire.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"