Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed? She's called Reese, Erm...
Witherspoon?
No, with a knife.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.