I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!