Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T