Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"