Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working