What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!