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Soviet Jokes

Funny Break Up Lines
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Onion Puns
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
History Puns
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
Hockey Puns
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Vaccine Puns
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
The Timing Issue
A few decades ago, three prisoners were sitting in a Soviet gulag. One of them asks the two others: "So, what did you do to be put in here?" The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat." The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of trying to be show up my comrades. Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?" "Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
Puns
If pronouncing b’s as v’s makes me sound Russian...
Then Soviet
Vegetable Puns
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Funny Headlines
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.