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Puts Jokes

Blond Jokes
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
Toucan Puns
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Puns
The male pig puts everyone to sleep.
You might say he’s quite a boar.
Vaccine Puns
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
Kitchen Puns
Cooking always puts my wife in a bad mood...
She beats the eggs and whips the cream.
Keyboard Puns
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Clever Jokes
An Optimist and Pessimist wall into a bar.
The optimist orders a drink while the pessimist puts ice on the bruise.
Deer Puns
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
One Liners and Short Jokes
What does marriage do? Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

“Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”
Why is horse racing so romantic?
Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
What kind of institution is Marriage?
One where a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Deodorant Puns
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.