Jokes > Tags > Object Jokes

Object Jokes

Funny Poems
They said I was an "old fart"
But I hardly think that's true
My boobs were done in '75
But my teeth and knees are new.

And since my eyes were lasered
I have 20/20 sight
Though I like to sit on 50k
And hate to drive at night.

All in all I object to "old"
But "fart" is another matter
For I think the valves that seal the gas
Now leak as I've got fatter.

To add to the indignity
And make me feel antique
Sometimes when I sneeze or cough
I spring a little leak.

So if you're feeling young and smug
With a body like brand new
Just remember in 30 years
This figure may be you!

(By Pamela J. Langdon)
Space Puns
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
Lightning Puns
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Language Pick Up Lines
Can I call you "whom"? Because you're the object — of my affections.
You are the object of my preposition.
I wish I was a pronoun so I could be the direct object of your affection!
Pot Puns
What did the astronaut see in his frying pan?
An Unidentified Frying Object.
Anti Jokes
A blonde is a living person with a specific hair color, and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used in the sport of bowling.
Toilet Paper Puns
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
Colonoscopy Short Jokes
Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious,
shove a foreign object up my butt and film the whole thing!
Or as my doctor insists on calling it... a colonoscopy