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Grow Jokes

Garden Quotes
"Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons."
- Dave Barry
"A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows."
- Doug Larson
Movie Pick Up Lines
"Hey baby, you look so good, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!"
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Garden Puns
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
Funny Health Quotes
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
Yard Puns
I really wish my five-year-old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a treehouse in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need it…
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
Funny Aging Quotes
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
The Beatles Pick Up Lines
I wanna grow old together. I will stay with you until I'm sixty-four!
I wanna grow old together. I will stay with you even after I'm sixty-four!
Food Quotes
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson