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Dreams Jokes

Jogging Pick Up Lines
You can stop running after your dreams. I am right here.
The Mayor's Nightly Visit
A new mayor of Chicago is chosen. That night, Franklin Delano Roosevelt appears. The mayor asks him "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?". FDR responds: "Do everything for the people". The mayor wakes up startled, and mutters "Lies!" under his breath. The next night, George Washington appears in the dreams of the mayor. He asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?", to which GW responds "Never tell a lie". The mayor wakes up startled, and curses under his breath. "That's not possible!" The next night, Abraham Lincoln appears in the mayor's dreams. The mayor asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?" Abraham looks at the mayor, scratches his beard, and takes a while to answer. "Visit a theater."
Dream Job Trouble
While still lying in bed, the wife turned to her husband, and said, "Maybe you shouldn't go to work today." "What do you mean? Why shouldn't I go to work today?" replied the confused husband. "I think you've been working too hard, so maybe instead of going to the office, you should take a few days off, pack a suitcase, and go stay with a friend for a few days away from home to straighten yourself out." The husband thought for a moment and decided to jump at the suggestion before it was forgotten. Within moments, he was up, dressed, and started packing clothes into a bag. "Just out of curiosity," the husband asked while getting ready, "how did you come to the conclusion that I've been working so hard that I need a break?" "You were dreaming about your work all night," the wife answered. "Really? How do you know I was having dreams about work?" he asked. "Because every 2 minutes you were telling your secretary to go faster."
Apology Pick Up Lines
Sorry I've been following you...
But my parents told me to chase my dreams.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
Would you mind loaning me a quarter? I want to call my mother and tell her I just met the woman of my dreams.
Hi. Do you remember me? Oh, that’s right—we’ve only met in my dreams.
Diamond Dreams
At breakfast a woman said to her husband, "Honey, I had the wildest dream last night. I dreamt that I saw a diamond necklace! What do you think it means?" The husband thought about it for a moment, and answered, "Well, you know sweetie, maybe you'll find out what that dream means on your birthday." Some time later, they were having breakfast again, and the wife said, "Honey, just I had another dream. I was wearing diamond earrings! What do you think it means?" The husband answered, "Your birthday is even closer now sweetie, so I bet you're going to find out what that dream means!" Another morning at breakfast, the wife said, "Honey, I had a dream last night that someone gave me a diamond tennis bracelet. What do you think this dream means???" The husband answered, "Sweetie, It's your birthday next week, and I promise, you'll find out exactly what that dream means." The day before the wife's birthday, she says to her husband, "Honey, I dreamt last night that you gave me a diamond ring! Do you know what that dream means?" The husband answered, "Sweetie, I love you so much, and all I can say is there's only one more day until you find out what all these dreams mean." The next morning at breakfast, the husband gave his wife her birthday present. It was a book: "How to Interpret your Dreams".
Travel Pick Up Lines
Do you have a quarter I can Bora Bora? I want to call my mom and tell her I've met the girl of my dreams.
The Valentine's Day Gift
It was a few days before Valentine's Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?" Her husband smiled. "Oh, I have a feeling you'll know later tonight." he said with a wink. His wife squealed with joy. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it... only to find a book titled "The meaning of dreams."
Toilet Puns
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
take me to some dreams afar.
Help me, help me get some sleep.
Before I have to shoot a sheep!
Food Pick Up Lines
Are you sugar? Because I just had sweet dreams about you.
Funny Work Quotes
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
Halloween Pick Up Lines
Are you a ghost? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.
Sorry Pick Up Lines
Remember me? Oh I'm sorry how would you know me, we've met only in my dreams.
Drugstore Pick Up Lines
Baby, I'm like efavirenz. I can decrease your odds of nightmares, but you still may have strong vivid dreams about me — a very common side effect.
Quotes
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
Mitch Hedberg
Travel Puns
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.