What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Did you hear about the restaurant they built on the moon?
The food is good but it lacks atmosphere.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
A space fish is usually called starfish.
Have you heard about the latest restaurant that opened up on moon?
No, how is that restaurant?
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
Is that the Dog star? You can’t be Sirius!
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
How will you make the earth clean? By giving it a meteor shower.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.