What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
How will you make a baby astronaut fall asleep peacefully? Rock-et.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
How many astronomers will it take to just change a lightbulb? None, they like the dark.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
A space fish is usually called starfish.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”