What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Did you hear about the restaurant they built on the moon?
The food is good but it lacks atmosphere.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
What do you think the boy star told the girl star? I really glow for you.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon.
Neil before me."
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
Scientists permit us to see the sun in different light.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
What kind of music would planets prefer to hear? NepTUNEs.
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Mooning is very ASStrological
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.