I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
Why is the moon so conceited at times?
It becomes full of itself.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.