Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
How will you make a baby astronaut fall asleep peacefully? Rock-et.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda
What will you call a crazy spaceman? An astronaut.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
Why is Jupiter so sad and heartbroken? Because his crush wants a plutonic relationship with him.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.