Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Why would a cow want to go to space? To see the Milky Way.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
Why will you not want to give a bath to the Saturn? It would then leave a ring around the tub.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
What do you think holds the moon up? Moonbeams.
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Scientists permit us to see the sun in different light.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.