Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Have you heard about the latest restaurant that opened up on moon?
No, how is that restaurant?
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Mooning is very ASStrological
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
How will you make the earth clean? By giving it a meteor shower.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
What kind of music would planets prefer to hear? NepTUNEs.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.