What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
Why would a cow want to go to space? To see the Milky Way.
What do you call an alien spaceship that goes from planet to planet to planet? A UF-hoe.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
A space fish is usually called starfish.
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.