When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
Whats the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moonday.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Why is Jupiter so sad and heartbroken? Because his crush wants a plutonic relationship with him.
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Why should the Sun get into a school? To get brighter.
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.