What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
What do you think the boy star told the girl star? I really glow for you.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
Why will you not want to give a bath to the Saturn? It would then leave a ring around the tub.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
How does a quarter moon always feel?
Crestfallen.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Is that the Dog star? You can’t be Sirius!
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.