My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
Why is Jupiter so sad and heartbroken? Because his crush wants a plutonic relationship with him.
Why should the Sun get into a school? To get brighter.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.