What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Did you hear about the restaurant they built on the moon?
The food is good but it lacks atmosphere.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
How does a quarter moon always feel?
Crestfallen.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
How will you make a baby astronaut fall asleep peacefully? Rock-et.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Mooning is very ASStrological