What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
Why would a cow want to go to space? To see the Milky Way.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.