Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
All farts...are laughing gas.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.