People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
All farts...are laughing gas.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.