If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.