I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.