After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
All farts...are laughing gas.