A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.