I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.