A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.