What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.