I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!