Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.